One of my enduring difficulties in trying to commit words to paper is that I have too many ideas. I’m not going to say that all of them are gems or are completely original. But if I’m trying to keep a fairly narrow focus on a topic, random topics like surgical magnetic implants start popping into my head as something I want to explore and, before long, I’m trying to write a screenplay, punch up the dialogue in somebody else’s already published work or knee deep in useless distractions.
When this happens, I generally have to find some kind of exercise to wear out my hyperactive neurons.
This go around, I decided to pretend I wrote the entire DC Comics line of comic books for a month, mimicking the style of their solitication copy. I also advance dated it just to keep the delusion alive.
TEEN TITANS #74
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art and cover by Eddy Barrows & Ruy José
With one member gone and one member in the ground, the team is faced with a band of White Martians brainwashed by Deathstroke into believing that they are dead Titans. As the team prepares for a final, desperate conflict, they find their ranks dwindling and a traitor within the tower. However, before this day ends, Robin will invite an enemy to join the team, a move that may cost him every bit of credibility he has with his friends.
On sale August 26 •32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
TITANS #17
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art by Rodney Buchemi
Cover by Ian Churchill
Starfire and Raven are confronted by a chilling vision of what might have been had Dick Grayson never joined the Titans. Meanwhile, Cyborg is determined to drive Nightwing away from the team — for his own good! With conflicting prophecies drawing the team apart, Beast Boy makes a pilgrimage to Alaska in search of the enigmatic shaman Flying Fox in an effort to learn the truth and regain control of his powers.
On sale August 12 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
BATMAN #692
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art by Tony Daniel & Sandu Florea
Cover by Alex Ross
Variant cover by Tony Daniel
With a trail of bodies leading straight to Professor Milo and Hush, Batman must find a way to reverse the elective surgical procedures they’ve been performing on Gotham’s underworld. However, with the Talon of Horus serum on the line, Bane forces Dr. Kurt (Man-Bat) Langstrom into giving him a daring new upgrade, driving Bane and Batman into a hand-to-hand battle that may play right into Hush’s plans.
On sale August 26 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
SUPERMAN #691
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art by Renato Guedes & José Wilson Magalháes
Cover by Alex Ross
The JSA’s Starman and Lexcorp CEO Lana Lang are brutally reunited when Steel’s new armor upgrades are infected by the Eradicator virus! A first kiss and a final countdown collide in Metropolis even as Superman and Supergirl deal with a Virus X outbreak on New Krypton. This marks a brand new era for John Henry Irons — the question is whether he’ll survive to see it! Guest starring the Legion of Super-Heroes!
On sale August 26 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
DETECTIVE COMICS #859
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art by Dustin Nguyen & Derek Fridolfs
Cover by Dustin Nguyen
Poison Ivy is dying from a sliver of White Kryptonite and the new Mr. Freeze is on life support with third degree superspeed burns. Someone is using the Justice League’s arsenal to kill off the criminals of Gotham and it’s up to Batman to put the pieces together even as Robin prepares for the worst, believing that Batman himself may be the culprit. Meanwhile, Ra’s al Ghul is abducted by the Order of St. Dumas — and he may not make his way out of this encounter alive.
On sale August 5 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
NIGHTWING: THE HUMAN WONDER #159
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art by Don Kramer & Sandu Florea
Cover by Rags Morales
Join NIGHTWING THE HUMAN WONDER for this startling new era! A stranger tracks the connections between Nightwing’s Roma roots, his circus life, his romance with Starfire and even his connection to the bottled city of Kandor, drawing strange new conclusions and revealing a secret that ties together the myriad masks worn by the Dark Knight’s apprentice. Meanwhile, Dick Grayson makes his spectacular debut as a stage magician and strange creatures from below seek to put an end to Nightwing’s globe-trotting antics!
On sale August 5 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
ROBIN #189
Written by Patrick Gerard
Cover by Freddie E. Williams II
Art by Rick Leonardi & Lorenzo Ruggiero
With his father’s belongings missing and a trail of clues leading straight to the Scarecrow, Robin must face his fears head on! However, with Azrael and Prometheus both looking for a piece of the Teen Wonder, he may find himself in much deeper trouble than he’d bargained for unless Flamebird can make a difference! (Start writing his eulogy, kids.)
On sale August 19 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
ACTION COMICS #880
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art by Gary Frank & Jon Sibal
Cover by Frank
When Superman is tricked into a trap at the Dawn of Time, Mxyzptlk presents him with a baffling conundrum that may be his salvation or may prove to finally best the Man of Tomorrow! On the other side of the Great Temporal Barrier is a world that desperately needs a Superman but if he answers its call, there may be no going home! Can Superman turn his back on the mysterious “World Without a Superman”?
On sale August 12 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
SUPERGIRL #44
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art and cover by Drew Johnson & Ray Snyder
When an incoming menace from beyond the stars threatens to destroy earth for having too many metahumans, it’s consolidation time for the heroes and villains of the DCU! Supergirl voluntarily strips herself of her powers, perhaps forever! She struggles to learn where she might belong as a Not-so-Supergirl but her timing couldn’t be worse as Blackstar, The Gang and Lesla Lar move in for the kill! Lucky for Supergirl she has three guardian angels in the form of an Atlantean, a demon and a visitor from the future! Guest starring a plethora of the DCU’s finest including Doctor Wonder Woman, Superman Green and Batmazo!
On sale August 5 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
SUPERMAN/BATMAN/SUPERMAN/BATMAN #63
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art by Rafael Albuequerque
Cover by Ryan Sook
They’re the world’s finest heroes but when a second, almost identical Superman and Batman appear, could it be too much of a good thing? These strangers seem familiar but what is their secret? Meanwhile Cassandra Cain and Kara Zor-El team up with the Most Awesome Superbat in Tokyo for a battle of mammoth proportions… But the Composite Superman is the one enemy that Superman and Batman have never truly bested!
On sale August 19 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
BATMAN AND THE OUTSIDERS #22
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art by Julian Lopez & Bit
Cover by J. Calafiore
Batman has betrayed the team, leading them into a trap behind enemy lines! But with the Queen Bee’s agents in control of Bialya, who can they trust? Enter the Cossack. But when the Russian Batman runs afoul of Katana, the stakes get higher!
On sale August 19 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
BIRDS OF PREY #133
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art by Michael O’Hare & John Floyd
Cover by Stephane Roux
When Huntress is seemingly killed in an act of mob retaliation, Misfit searches for the truth in a globe-trotting quest for answers! However, she may have to answer to Oracle – that is, if Oracle can even keep up with her! Meanwhile Lady Blackhawk rediscovers an old flame from the war in the last place she’s expect!
On sale August 19 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
BLUE BEETLE #42
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art and cover by Rafael Albuquerque
Jaime Reyes is confronted with an offer he can’t refuse when an altruistic billionaire presents him with an offer that may save an ailing family member. However when it turns out that his benefactor is the grandson of Vandal Savage, what seemed like a simple errand suddenly pits the teen against the forces of Checkmate! Plus: Who is the World War II champion known as the Steel Phantom and what is his connection to both Superman and the Reach?
On sale August 26 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
BOOSTER GOLD #23
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art and cover by Dan Jurgens & Norm Rapmund
It’s no vacation in the bonnie isles for Booster Gold when what seems to be a simple mission to 15th century Scotland pits him against the mad alchemist Professor Flash, The Reverse-Zoom. What is this strange speedster’s connection to the Flash legacy and how is it all Booster’s fault? (Come on, it always is! Just ask Skeets.)
On sale August 12 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD #28
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art and cover by Scott Kolins
When Rip Hunter is trapped in King Arthur’s Camelot by Etrigan the Demon, he must lay a series of clues for Uncle Sam, Jonah Hex, the All-Star Squadron, Superman and the Justice Legion A to stop the alien menace that has ensnared the legions of Hell in its grasp.
On sale August 19 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
CHECKMATE #41
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art and cover by Manuel Garcia
Fire is finally back in the limelight when a high profile assignment sends her to infiltrate a strange secret society of wealthy super-villains in a secret subterranean resort. However, when she discovers the strange new breed of bioweapon being developed and smuggled via a human payload, Mr. Terrific disappears and Amanda Waller finds she has unfinished business with her former employer – one President Alexander Joseph Luthor.
On sale August 12 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
THE FLASH #255
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art and cover by Freddie E. Williams II
When Wally West is hospitalized after a debilitating injury, he uses his speed manipulation abilities to keep Keystone City safe against an average day’s worth of crises by lending his speed to Father Rocko Flanigan. However, Wally soon discovers the limits of this new approach and finds his powers transforming into something new, something dangerous and something that may be a threat to the entire city!
On sale August 19 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
GREEN LANTERN CORPS #39
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art by Luke Ross & Fabio Laguna
Cover by Rodolfo Migliari
Guest starring the Doom Patrol! It’s some much needed shore leave back on Earth for Kyle Rayner as the Green Lantern Corps celebrates its victory against the Sons of Krona. However, a threat from Rayner’s days with the Justice League stalks him even as Sodam Yat and Arisia find their rings behaving oddly in an encounter with the Brotherhood of Evil. With communications down, the trio must find their way back to Oa to warn the Guardians of corrupt recruits who have infiltrated the Corps! Enter their last, best hope: Danny the Lantern!
On sale August 12 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
GREEN LANTERN #46
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art by Ivan Reis & Oclair Albert
Cover by Ivan Reis
Following an encounter with Hector Hammond, Hal Jordan is trapped in the strange alternate persona of 58th century Solar Director Pol Manning. With the Manhunters’ plot in Gorilla City coming to fruition, Thomas Kalmaku and Cowgirl seek the aid of Carol Ferris to help “Manning” pose as Jordan and diffuse the crisis! But can this awkward scientist find the two-fisted test pilot within or will Coast City be destroyed again – by ATOMIC GORILLAS???
On sale August 26 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
GREEN ARROW/BLACK CANARY #23
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art by Mike Norton & Wayne Faucher
Cover by Cliff Chiang
It’s just another night in the city as Ollie and Dinah nab Felix Faust. The only trouble is they don’t remember how they caught him! With five minutes of their memories erased, the couple try to reconstruct the events of the evening – with some hilarious results. However, if Ollie can’t remember the missing minutes, the mistake may prove fatal for them both!
On sale August 12 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
JONAH HEX #46
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art by Mark Sparacio
Cover by Andy Kubert
Get ready for an unexpected twist as 21st century Conspiracy Theorist Bernie Madden recounts the tale of 19th century gunslinger Jonah Hex and the Secret History of the Civil War! When the Union’s savage Warlord Sherman unleashes a steam-powered hydrogen bomb on the Confederate stronghold of Atlantis, it’s up to Jonah Hex to hitch a ride on an ironclad dirigible and find a way to defeat the Superman of 1863 and his Manhunters from Mars! It sounds impossible but Bernie might just be onto something here…
On sale August 5 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #36
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art and cover by Ed Benes
When the heavens begin crashing to earth and Olympus trembles, the JLA find themselves rallying around old friend and original Flash, Jay Garrick, who hovers on the brink of death. When the angel Zauriel brings forth warnings of cosmological doom, it’s time for the “Crisis at the Pearly Gates” as the JLA must enlist the aid of dead champions! But is the Flash’s new Celestial Treadmill up to the challenge?! All this and the startling return of Kid Eternity!
On sale August 19 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #30
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art and variant cover by Dale Eaglesham & Ruy Jose
Cover by Alex Ross
Magog returns and he isn’t alone; he’s got Eclipso with him! But when Doctor Fate’s magic proves futile, is the team truly ready to seek the aid of Doctor Chaos? Meanwhile, Courtney Whitmore’s new boyfriend in Washington seems like quite the charmer but what happens when she discovers that he’s the anti-hero known as Anarky? The cosmic order is in peril and it may be Ted Grant’s fault! When Jakeem Thunder winds up summoning the Spectre, he may be the answer to everyone’s problems… but not the answer they want!
On sale August 26 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #57
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art and cover by Francis Manapul & John Livesay
Get ready for a Legion Double Feature!
One thousand years ago in a universe made of anti-matter, three teens in the Children’s Crusade attempted to kill the tyrannical Rajah Brande but their lives were spared when they pledged service to him! Their deeds became legend and they even recruited the legendary Ultraman of the 21st century! Learn their secrets in the shocking tale of Kal-El-Baba and his Forty Thieves!
Then, thrill to the strange secret of the day Brainiac 5 tried to recruit a young scientist named Lex Luthor and witness the bizarre impact it would eventually have on the origins of the Legionnaire known as Dawnstar!
On sale August 26 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
MANHUNTER #45
Written by Patrick Gerard
Art by Michael Gaydos
Cover by Liam Sharp
It’s an awkward family reunion when Iron Munro comes barging into granddaughter’s life with a job offer. However, with the pressure on at D.A.’s office, the grizzled Man of Argent’s offer SEEMS appealing. But when the pulp-era crusader’s ragtag allies enter the fray, Kate begins to question whether whether this new life is one she can live with…
On sale August 5 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
WONDER WOMAN #45
Written by Patrick Gerard
Cover by Aaron Lopresti
Art by Aaron Lopresti & Matt Ryan
After an encounter with the Bizarro Wonder Woman, Diana finds her lasso switched with a seemingly useless Lasso of Lies. However, when a deadly psychopath calling himself Captain Wonder begins destroying military installations in a twisted bid to woo the Silver Swan, Wonder Woman sure could use that lasso to help uncover the secrets of the living weapon of mass destruction and its disturbing connection to her mission in man’s world and the Queen of Fables!
On sale August 12 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
Good News
Well, I’ve got a really amazing article coming up for a magazine.
I know a lot of people who wind up doing articles on “how to save money on car insurance” and “how to prevent mold” and such. I respect people cutting their teeth on those but I’ve been holding out for something better, however questionable the wisdom of “holding out” may be for a writer.
This will be one for the books. It has a little bit of everything.
It’s an investigative piece with some real chops and I actually have to hit the streets for this one. It actually involves doing something slightly dangerous and interesting.
More on this as it approaches publication.
June 8, 2008
Categories: Literature & the Arts, Personal, Pop Commentary, Published Works, Weird News . . Author: existentialsodapop . Comments: Leave a Comment